Torture

It is a very odd life being a Member of Parliament. I find there is little time to watch TV for example. So I miss seeing people humiliated on Anne Robinson’s “The Weakest Link”.

I am pretty uncertain of the enduring fascination there is for this program which in a relatively short period has become a cult. Some of its editions even seem to border on self-parody.

That esteemed publication “Private Eye”, which every serious politician buys each week, even has a special column in each edition featuring the more inept answers given by contestants.

It is bought I may add not so much to inform MSPs, MPs and the like, as out of fear. The fear that one may find oneself featured and the need to act at once if one is.

I carry my solicitor’s telephone number everywhere with me.

But politicians’ interest in “The Weakest Link” is not so limited by a lack of opportunity to view it as to deny them an understanding of the program’s purpose.

It is there to make fun of 8 people randomly selected from a group of nine. I say randomly selected because it is not enough to be a smart cookie able to answer the questions. Indeed that may see one summarily ejected by other competitors as representing an all too significant threat to their own more limited knowledge and intellect.

When the producers contacted me – well I think they tried everyone! - a few months ago with an invitation to appear on a special edition of “The Weakest Link” it was fairly easy to say no. Politicians are not quite as daft as some people think.

So when I heard that Andrea, a teacher from St.Combs, was on the program recently, my admiration for her courage was considerable. And she did well enough to survive to about the fifth round. Congratulations!

But I wondered if the real lesson was about today’s teachers.

We know that teaching is one of today’s tougher jobs. Is the tumult and stress of the classroom now so great that it is relaxing to appear instead on the “Weakest Link”?

Dutch Treats

Although it has been a few years since I last visited Amsterdam, it remains one of my favourite destinations for a short break.

The Dutch are quite like the Scots in their ‘matter of fact’ approach to life and their practical responses to the challenges they meet. And looking at Dutch as a language one often feels an affinity. For example what Scot could mis-understand ‘ingang’ and ‘uitgang’ written on bus doors?

The efficiency of their transport system is relaxing and could not be in greater contrast to the often-stressful journeys we often undertake at home. An efficient, and very busy, Schiphol Airport connects directly to fast intercity, even international, trains.

I recall on occasion leaving the office in Scotland at 5 p.m. and in just over three hours – one plane, two trains later – sitting down to dinner with business colleagues in Utrecht. I can’t get from the same office at 5 p.m. in Edinburgh to home in Banff & Buchan by public transport any earlier than 11.15 p.m. and that is only two trains and no flight.

So it is illuminating to contrast the Dutch Government’s response to the need to support its ports with our Scottish Government’s caution about supporting Peterhead harbour.

Lloyds List, an essential daily read for many people but not generally for me, reported some time ago that ports in Zeeland, at Groningen, Harlinggen and Den Helder in the Netherlands would get about £11 million in state aid for developments that would protect their competitive position.

And the parallel with our own situation at Peterhead Bay is quite clear.

For Den Helder in particular the investment is directly related to the need to allow the port to diversify away from dependence on offshore activity.

Just like Peterhead.

ASCO and the base has been good for the area – and good for workers with one the industry’s best safety records - since it started operations nearly 30 years ago but we have always known that it would not last for ever.

So we have a choice. Prepare now for new business opportunities. Or wait until a disastrous downturn in activity and try to firefight.

The Dutch have shown the way.

We quite rightly saw about £9 million of public money spent at Rosyth to enable the new Zeebrugge ferry service to start. That was 90% of the total need.

At Peterhead we only need 30% of the funding to come from a grant and the benefit in jobs is probably much larger.

The Dutch government and Rosyth show what can be done. All we need now is our ministers to act in a pro-active way to support us too.